I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
There's a naked man in my car right now.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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