well I can't set my house on fire every night
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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