sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
4 words: hood of his car
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
