Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
