I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
