I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
