Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
