he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
