The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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