Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
