If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
