I feel like I'm in dance class right now
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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