I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize