u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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