on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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