Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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