AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
