Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
