If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
