DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
