After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
