so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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