Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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