I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
