how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I need a burrito and a hug.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
