my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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