Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
