apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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