i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
