people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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