i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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