So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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