God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So vagazzling was a success
Never joke about your clitoris.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
