I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize