Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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