While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
