Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
