Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
