How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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