she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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