I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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