that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
