well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
