If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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