Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
