he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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