Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
