Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
