And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize