hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
