So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I need help removing her.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
