i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Randomize
