That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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