Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
