i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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