I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
