why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize