if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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