FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
