I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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