friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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