You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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