So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize