if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Yo dont text me then not text me
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
