It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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