I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
