maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Holy sore nipples Batman
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
