Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
