Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
