I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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