You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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