Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
