It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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