if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
